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Cat

Our mascot - Millie the cat - thanks Moira for the submission!

A song from the infamous Lib Dem Glee Club

Letterboxes Words: Chris Young; Sung to the Tune: Little Boxes by Malvina Reynolds

Letterboxes on the door-fronts,

Letterboxes going snippy snappy;

Letterboxes on the door fronts -

Letterboxes hurt and maim.

There's a high one and a low one,

And a small one and a narrow one;

And they all go snippy-snappy,

And they all hurt just the same.

And the Focus for the houses

Was written by the candidate;

But she won't touch letterboxes:

Letterboxes hurt and maim.

So I take them and I fold them,

And I try to deliver them;

But they all scrape and go snippy-snappy,

And they all hurt just the same.

Now the front flap on the letterbox

Is stiff or goes flippy-flappy,

And it bruises all my fingers

And it traps them in the frame -

Which is filled with rows of bristles

Which crumple the leaflet up.

And they all jam or go scritchy-scrathcy,

And they all hurt just the same.

As I bleed upon the leaflet,

It stops at the inner flap,

And I have to wedge it open

With my fingers in the frame.

Then a dog jumps at the door-front

And tries to bite my fingers off.

And they all growl or go yippy-yappy,

And they all hurt just the same.

So the leaflet turns to dog food

Or gets snagged in silly curtaining,

And gets tangled, further mangled:

It is all part of the game.

When the owner gets the leaflet,

It must be half-illegible;

And they'll never vote Libby-Demmy.

But it all hurts just the same.

Letterboxes on the door-fronts

Should be subject to regulati-ons;

Never sideways, all at waiste height,

Letterboxes all the same.

And the dogs should be sedated,

And the hinges lubricated fully.

They'd be simple and not knicky-knacky,

And they'd all work just the same.

Voting reform - a submission by Cathy French

The following videos were found by Cathy's son Innes; they represent what is wrong with our current voting system, and Cathy therefore submitted them for inclusion on the website.

Faragism/The Pied Piper of Hamlyn retold (and influenced by German wives etc.)

Written by our very own Dr Tim Lockington

"There was a large Island called Anglyn, populated by a people who had found
their way there, in older times, from the nearby lands to the East. The
country had prospered and the people become numerous. The Island had been
successful at war and trade and for a while had dominated the world with its
legal codes, language and invention but the age of Empire had passed.

In recent years the people of the Island had turned back towards their
neighbours (and the children of their ancestors) who lived across the water
to the East.

During years of Empire, war and conflict had brought the island and its
neighbours to the edge of destruction but now they had chosen to build
friendship and community together and for a while all was good.

People from across the water began to visit, and some came to do work that
Anglynians were either unkeen or unable to do. In the same way, the people
of Anglyn travelled across the water to work and settle in the lands to the
East.

But now the Island and it's neighbours had fallen on hard times. The people
became troubled. Food was harder to come by and belts needed to be
tightened. They began to notice how many "others" were living with them,
eating them out of house and home, or so it seemed. They looked around and
saw and heard foreigness everywhere.

In great anxiety they petitioned the Council to do something to rid the land
of this scourge. The Council was alarmed by the agitation of the people but
could see no solution strong enough to satisfy them.

Then one day as the Council was in session, it was interrupted by the
arrival of a stranger in a curious purple attire and holding a fluted pipe
in his hand. He had heard of their plight and promised that he would rid
the land of the "others" - for a fee.

The Council rapidly agreed to his terms and the Piper set about his work.
Touring the country from City to Town, from Factory to Farm, he played his
pipe and danced the foreigners to the seaports and airports of the land and
in a short time there were none of the "others" left.

The people were delighted and so was the Council. There was no foreignness
or strangeness of accent or language to trouble them any more.

At length the Piper returned to the Council Chamber and was greeted warmly
with expressions of gratitude for a job well done. Acknowledging their
thanks he demanded his fee.

Then the Council's joy turned to dismay for there was not enough money left
to pay the Piper. A great deal of the nation's income and economic power
had recently left through the airports and seaports of the land.

After a short deliberation the Council, judging that they were many and he
was one, refused to pay the Piper. On hearing this the Piper's face took on
a grim countenance.

He raised his flute to his lips and started to play a new tune. The
Council and the people began to dance. They could not help themselves. In
this way he led them, south and east across the land, past cities, towns,
factories and farms.

At length, as they came closer to the sea, the ground began to climb towards
the chalk white cliffs that stared across the water towards the land where
the "others" had gone.

The people, in great anxiety, began to talk among themselves for they could
now see the eastern lands just a short distance across the water. Maybe if
they called loudly enough, the "others" might return and help make things
good again.

So they called and called, louder and louder, keener and keener as they came
closer and closer to the cliff's edge.

Call as they might there was no answer from the land across the water as the
Piper continued his tune without pause or pity....."

Are you a member or supporter of Liberal Democrats in Ipswich? If so we would love to hear from you. Please email colin.boyd@ipswichlibdems.org.uk with your enqury or website submission.